Who doesn't recognize this surgeon? Grey's anatomy most glorious and Seattle Grace Hospital Head of Brain surgery department help me through the days of my faulty behavior. Concept and sincerity in this play, is far good enough inspiring. Relationship, caring and saving lives. He is outstandingly a the best I've ever known.
Drama are realistic situation put on a screen of replay, they make things comfortable. On episode 19 on season 5, he was recovering himself from the hole he's been digging. Moving on with life after removing half of the pregnant lady brain before he could be able to make a delivery. When someone believe that you could play God for once, for believing you could by yourself, is not always so. There are a few scene which is an eye opener. Could save me those therapy.
The part where he revised his skill alone in an empty O.R before the surgery, its an interesting part where you shake, and thinking to yourself, that you're not ready. The stability of your hand after those long stuffy, slob drunken days. There are times where we get upset over frustration. They are a pain, they didn't work in a snap where people make decision and say, i'm not depress i just need to get over it. Not simple as that. When your central nervous system is under depression, you can't get over it. You will be in a hole, you're getting trapped as you keep digging.
Its not easy to express, make decision, and create back a routine life again and again. You feel the loss of sanity, its a sloppy and you feel like sleep over it. You will have no idea that either its because you believe you depress, or its true that you are depress. Its a mixed feeling of overwhelming understanding that, you just can't get over it easily. You are completely shut down!
Submerge over the sea, i wanted to just do things in order. That keeps it good. I revised a few books to fight over it. I have been developing Good habit, although I have been living in a hostile environment, doesn't really matter most of the time where you can adapt to it easily. I'm proud to know the fact that people who can adapt easily are extremely intelligent person
My own progress is to handle things like a surgeon. Although i'm only an Oral surgeon, but surgery, the principle sounds the same. Except that we save aesthetic compare to lives. I'm happy with the things I'm doing right now, doing things for a reason. If I'm not prepared, or haven't revise my study then there is no purpose for me to went for a test tomorrow. I guess this obligation and rules keeping us being trapped in this pile of system, prisoners of uninspiring, boring lectures. I'm beating the system, because they are faulty as too much for me to follow. They only lead to more corruption, laziness, and crappy results.
At least i do make some point even at my current state. It has been a great times realizing this pitfall that i've been going through is just a matter of time. Now I have to decide to make a change. People can talk the same thing i have heard 10 years ago from old people discussing the same knowledge they have been holding. I realize alot of things. When its reality, I can't help it but to face it. I think its time to be professional. Because I should have been one since elevating my ethos at this current rate has been greatly interest me for the betterment.
So this is it. I'm happy going through doing what i want, not a gentleman for a time being. Breaking rules, and getting things done in your own way. Its time to face it, it has been a great joy knowing you depression. I guess i'm leaving you for what you have done to me. I have no intention to know you any better, and thanks for everything. Im going to get better. Because the future is in my hands.
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